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Tuesday, January 28, 2014
I know what you're going through...
No, not exactly. But, you see, if you're struggling with depression or anxiety, I have been there. I hate depression. I hate that it sucked the life out of me. I hate that I have to fight everyday to get up and get going. It's exhausting. My body doesn't react well to the medications either. My whole right side had this feeling of being perpetually "asleep" for weeks. My right foot still doesn't want to cooperate even though my medication has changed.
My depression is a shadow that hides in dark corners that pounces during my weakest moments. However, it is my anxiety disorder that viciously attacks my body without warning. It is absolutely insufferable. Unbearable. Crippling. Overwhelming. Two weeks ago my body went into some weird shock. I woke up on a Monday at 6:30 and my heart was pounding. Something was WRONG. Well, that's how I perceived it. That's all it takes. Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It's your fight or flight response turning on. Mine just gets triggered easily. I couldn't get my breathing under control. I began to sweat. I began to sob. Then I threw up for six hours. I was so desperate. No medicine was able to help because I couldn't keep anything down. It's terrifying that I know exactly how people feel in the moments before they commit suicide. They aren't weak. They are sick. They don't know they can get better. That's the difference between me and the victims of suicide who become powerless to the dark, vicious monster that is depression and anxiety. This demon takes over and sucks all the hope of recovery out of their bodies.
My depression is a shadow that hides in dark corners that pounces during my weakest moments. However, it is my anxiety disorder that viciously attacks my body without warning. It is absolutely insufferable. Unbearable. Crippling. Overwhelming. Two weeks ago my body went into some weird shock. I woke up on a Monday at 6:30 and my heart was pounding. Something was WRONG. Well, that's how I perceived it. That's all it takes. Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It's your fight or flight response turning on. Mine just gets triggered easily. I couldn't get my breathing under control. I began to sweat. I began to sob. Then I threw up for six hours. I was so desperate. No medicine was able to help because I couldn't keep anything down. It's terrifying that I know exactly how people feel in the moments before they commit suicide. They aren't weak. They are sick. They don't know they can get better. That's the difference between me and the victims of suicide who become powerless to the dark, vicious monster that is depression and anxiety. This demon takes over and sucks all the hope of recovery out of their bodies.
Monday, January 27, 2014
another snow day
wow. i started this post months ago. The holidays have arrived and now gone and so has winter. its been a crazy couple of months as always doing what? not sure. but we are busy. #deerhunting #florida #emilysmarried #justgirlsinFL #school #halloween #traveling #hoidaydecorating #fallyardwork #shovelingsnow #princessshow #preschool #playing #playdates #timewithcousins #bacheloretteparty #fishing #thefarm #movies #christmas #programsatschool #churchprogram #wednesdayschool #icefishing #sledding #snowmobiling #scrapbookweekend #huntingweekend #monstertrucks #playinghouse ##PINKconcert presleewantsneedsadog #pooltime #birthdayparties #MOPS
so here is my catch up in pictures.of course not in any kind of order.bc that i how i do things.need to be better about keeping up with my blog!a new goal! once a week if not more.a promise to myself.
lets be real.the weather stinks a bit.i love winter actually..... usually.but right now this crazy cold and no school days we have been having gets a bit old.i love winter days when we can be outside for hours playing.not freezing our buns off.and we have had those days too-but they are hard to remember after all of these icky days.but we are surviving with 2 baths a day, pool time, playdates and gym/backyard time.
so here is my catch up in pictures.of course not in any kind of order.bc that i how i do things.need to be better about keeping up with my blog!a new goal! once a week if not more.a promise to myself.
lets be real.the weather stinks a bit.i love winter actually..... usually.but right now this crazy cold and no school days we have been having gets a bit old.i love winter days when we can be outside for hours playing.not freezing our buns off.and we have had those days too-but they are hard to remember after all of these icky days.but we are surviving with 2 baths a day, pool time, playdates and gym/backyard time.
Ice Station Cybermen
STORY 029: THE TENTH PLANET
The Tenth Planet is both a debut and farewell.It is the first Cyberman story, a monster that has become one of the most iconic of Doctor Who monsters (who have also undergone many alterations in design throughout the series).It is also the last First Doctor story, where we are left with the very first regeneration.While the actual look of the Cybermen themselves may disappoint (and actually, I figure it didn't look all that good the first go-round), the actual concept of the Cybermen is in itself a splendid one.The Tenth Planet also moves well and on the whole works, albeit not without a few hiccups.
The Tenth Planet is both a debut and farewell.It is the first Cyberman story, a monster that has become one of the most iconic of Doctor Who monsters (who have also undergone many alterations in design throughout the series).It is also the last First Doctor story, where we are left with the very first regeneration.While the actual look of the Cybermen themselves may disappoint (and actually, I figure it didn't look all that good the first go-round), the actual concept of the Cybermen is in itself a splendid one.The Tenth Planet also moves well and on the whole works, albeit not without a few hiccups.
Doctor Who: Peter Capaldi's new look revealed
Doctor Who fans have been given their first glimpse of The Doctor's new look following his latest regeneration.
Peter Capaldi, who replaces Matt Smith, will have a dark blue Crombie coat with red lining, dark blue trousers, white shirt and black Dr Marten shoes.
Peter Capaldi, who replaces Matt Smith, will have a dark blue Crombie coat with red lining, dark blue trousers, white shirt and black Dr Marten shoes.
Winter 2014 Anime Log #1
It's that time again! Winter is upon us, so it's time to look at the barrage of Winter anime! This season, I'm going a bit lighter due to a demanding schedule and to try and find some time for other things (that Bleach retrospective won't continue itself until that damn robot is functioning). That said, I still ended up with a sizable load of shows to follow. Also, I will not be covering shows continuing from last year, so don't expect to see SamFlam, Kill la Kill, Silver Spoon or the like. They all get their own reviews when I finish them, on my own time (but I am indeed following Kill la Kill almost religiously). Continuing shows in other seasons throughout the year will also not be covered, it is strictly all new shows. There will be four logs this time, with a bi-weekly schedule. I hope not to skip weeks this time, but no promises.
And with that explanation done, here's everything I'm following!
And with that explanation done, here's everything I'm following!
Ten TV What-Ifs
Whether X-treme short form like The Forbidden Files or epic like Lost there's an edge that the fantastic holds for me that draws me to it without fail. What can fail is the execution which speaks for most. It is a tough call getting any new material onto a small screen that mostly illuminates only for the well proven let alone a series of stretchy concepts. History will always favour the bold in this case so while the original Star Trek is treasured but Land of the Giants is at best recalled with vague fondness.I've chosen tv rather than cinema here because it can stretch from the miniature to the mountainous to varying purposes. This isn't trying to be comprehensive. Like most of my list posts, it's what occured to me at the time. Happy to read anyone's favourites.
TWLILIGHT ZONE: Five years worth of short-form fantastic fiction shot like contemporary cinema and cast with veteran character actors as well as an impressive list of future stars, Rod Serling's brainchild still delights. I bought the entire set on dvd a few years back and slowly went through them over a year. There are certainly a few turkeys there but there would be with that much screen time. Interestingly, most of the longer fifty-minute episode season 4 is consistently below par; this is one series that knew its limitations (well, after it broke them). But overall such sharp and flavoursome scenaric punch is only rarely to be found in one place. I screened a few at Shadows to pretty much unanimous enthusiasm. I can only imagine what it felt like to find this kind of strangeness coming from a gluey little blue screen with rounded edges. It had to overreach with some of its performances and writing but, you know, it still cuts through. So does the Season 2 and onward theme tune which is still quoted in conversation as aural shorthand for weirdness.
TWLILIGHT ZONE: Five years worth of short-form fantastic fiction shot like contemporary cinema and cast with veteran character actors as well as an impressive list of future stars, Rod Serling's brainchild still delights. I bought the entire set on dvd a few years back and slowly went through them over a year. There are certainly a few turkeys there but there would be with that much screen time. Interestingly, most of the longer fifty-minute episode season 4 is consistently below par; this is one series that knew its limitations (well, after it broke them). But overall such sharp and flavoursome scenaric punch is only rarely to be found in one place. I screened a few at Shadows to pretty much unanimous enthusiasm. I can only imagine what it felt like to find this kind of strangeness coming from a gluey little blue screen with rounded edges. It had to overreach with some of its performances and writing but, you know, it still cuts through. So does the Season 2 and onward theme tune which is still quoted in conversation as aural shorthand for weirdness.
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