Wednesday, July 24, 2013

More Randomness or Maybe Just Weirdness

My head is still spinning from moving us, moving my parents, remodeling their Arkansas house, remodeling their guest house, readying their Texas house to sell, readying our house to rent, moving, moving, moving, and moving a little more, so this little corner of the internet has been neglected.

And it probably will be for a bit longer.

Pardon my dust.


My guys both went down easily and early tonight so, I'm going to do a little unpacking.Not the kind where I'm all productive, and boxes are emptied, and we can find more than three forks.The kind where I download all the weird stuff thats had a chance to become lodged in my brain on my 5,274 trips to and from Texas.


Or don't.

Apparently not everyone (Mike) thinks it's extraordinary that I always seem to come into contact with men who have tiny ponytails.

I know right!!I can picture your bewildered faces as you think to yourselves, a tiny ponytail, where??Who wouldn't love that??Wait, three tiny ponytails, in one day??Now I see you shaking your fists in the air cursing me, the girl who has all the luck.

Tis true.I'm the lucky gal who's gas company representative had a tiny side ponytail complete with fringe embellished rubber band.I'm the girl who pulled up to a pump at Exxon only to find the man on the other side with a tiny ponytail hanging from his chin.I'm also the girl who saw a man at Walmart with a ponytail probably six inches long at the base of his skull.You say Ha!Six inches does not equal tiny!I say it does when the two inch wide, six inch long section of hair is the only thing on an otherwise bald head.

See??Maybe you don't, but I think we can all agree that was a lot of little ponytail for one afternoon.

Anywho, that randomness you all came for:

I hate, hate, the $75 gas limit at some service stations.If you don't drive a Prius you've got to run the dang card twice, and it always has a delay when you're typing in your zip code, and you always end up typing it in wrong, and then you're the nut who keeps talking to the gas pump, then the little screen starts yelling at you to try a new additive (sure, lets make it even more expensive to drive my non Prius), then you can't get the latch to hold the pump handle in the on position so you wedge the gas cap in there, but that keeps shutting it off automatically.Sigh.

I love, LOVE the Hurry Cane commercial.I have exactly zero reasons to carry a cane, but I can think of a thousand reasons I need this!

My mom very clearly pronounces the T in Cheetos.Like, Chee-TOES.I pretty much say cheeDos.I would be all, po-tay-toes, po-tah-toes, but come on.Nobody needs to be that aggressive about a cheeto.

The speaker on Mike's first iPhone quit working because I dropped it in the bathtub.He still doesn't know that.

For some reason a random couple from the TLC series A Wedding Story popped into my head the other day.I remembered the wife was a writer and had a unique name.Like anyone else who is a non stalker, I googled her.Y'all, they got divorced.I was shocked.Shocked!!Even knowing the 50% statistic, even knowing how great reality TV is for a marriage, it never occurred to me that these were real marriages that continued beyond 'the years may come and go, but there's one thing I know .'

A few nights ago we caught the raccoon (we named it Ross) who was eating all our cat food red handed.The next night we caught Ross and all three of her babies snacking from the cat bowl.Mike flipped on the shop light scaring Ross away, banged around a little scaring off two of the babies and finally had to chase the last little raccoon out with a paint roller.He was a jerk by the way.If any of them has rabies its that one.

I always cross my legs then hook my foot behind Mike's leg in Sunday school.This means my foot is always asleep by the end of the hour.So, I'm always hanging around after Bible study waiting for the sensation to return to my right leg, limping and weirding out our teacher.

I have this compulsive need to tell people if I notice their hair is different.Its almost like haircut Turrets.Its especially bad if I'm nervous."You changed your hair!"I'll blurt out when say, my doctor asks how I'm feeling.

I sit abnormally close to the steering wheel in the car.Whenever Mike drives my car we have this conversation, Him:You aren't that short.Me:You aren't that tall.

I ran over two armadillos on a single trip to the post office the last time I was in Texas.

James says nonut instead of donut.

I watched a marathon of Downton Abbey and spoke with British accent for a few hours without realizing it.

I've never heard an entire Justin Bieber song.Of this I am proud.

I eat Sloppy Joes with mayonnaise and Lays chips.Not negotiable.

I have this theory that my parent's neighbor murdered his wife, mulched her up and used her to fertilize his square foot garden.I'm only half joking.I haven't seen her in years and that thing is a monster.There's no way it's producing like that without something shady going on back there.

Ok, that's all I've got.Well, it's all I've got time for anyway.Here's to (hopefully) our last few nights air mattressing itin Texas.We are on the downhill end of this supermove and it feels great.Until then, I'll keep a list in my phone of random crap I wanted the internet to know about, you keep checking back for more ponytails.
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