Monday, July 15, 2013

Sorry It's Been Such a Long Time... BUT I'M STILL BLEEDING OUT OF MY BUTT!!! Oh and I Hate Women

Sorry, lol, it's not just because my stupid butt wound hasn't healed up (even though I'm minus every organ down there and above, so go figure). I've also been incredibly busy with the brokers exam studying and promotions stuff, plus girls.



I... actually had a girlfriend, for a week. Obviously I can't hold down a relationship, I'm very good at getting girls but as my old friend Buckner used to say, "Saleem my dear man, you have no followthrough whatsoever". He's kind of right, I think my longest relationship was freshman year of high school; and it was like three months? If even that haha. I guess people have to cut me some slack since I was so ridiculously sick for SO LONG! I was kind of just in that survivor mentality for five years straight, which is kind of traumatic so to speak. I think I may still be in it right now, see with girls I operate on a few principles that have made my life much easier. I'll go into that detail now.




First off I want to say this is going to make me sound like a douchebag, I get that, don't really care either. I almost died from Colitis, I could care less if some wanker thinks I'll burn in hell for how I treat women. Now I wasn't popular in high school, like whatsoever. I got like ZERO girls in high school, I was too much of a loser to find a date to prom, naddameannnnn? Ok so maybe I'm being a bit harsh, I... wanted what the douchebag jocks had, I couldn't be like them; even though lets be frank I'm damn skilled athletically (now anyway). My sickness prevented me from doing a lot, and I needed a girl on my side back then! But oh no, Saleem was too much of a loser to date huh? Or even give a shot? So I'll say this here once and I'll say it again at the end of my post (might even post it on facebook later) "monsters are not born, they're created; time and circumstances will change a man into what he despises the most".



Principle 1: Since we know the jocks and the bro tools get all the girls, dress like em! I find myself wearing bro tanks like four days out of the week these days (they're really comforatable...).



Principle 2: Treat all hot girls like absolute garbage, girls say they don't want a douchebag but I am living proof that statement is a flat out lie; my douchebaggy ways have earned me the vaginas of many a girl out of my league ;) (if i believed in the league).



I'll think of more principles as the blog posts go on, just don't hate me too much guys; remember these hot girls that I'm fucking DESERVE to get treated like shit! They're the hot, preppy, popular girls from our high schools that never gave you the time of day, so when I break their hearts? We're striking a blow for the brotherhood of the underdogs. Also I'm striking the jocks from the inside as well, bastards think they run things? Nuh uh, infiltration will be my weapon against them! Muahahahahahah. Although honestly I don't really have time for this shit anymore, lol. I guess this is more of my quick rant for poor Mat and all of my other mates always losing out, I keep telling them this is how it is; but they don't listen :/. So they may remain pretty much chaste for the rest of our college days.



Oh I need to post some pictures of my promotions thing at Dragonfest! Super fucking fun, and I got to see my bosses thong ;).



This Blog Post is Signed Saleem Juma, an ex nerdy, ex geeky, underdog, ex fat kid, with a bag, who was sick for many years, who has extremely tough and strict conservative parents, who has been paying for everything himself since he was fourteen and who fought for everything he ever had after being wronged unjustly many times by those who were silver spoon fed their entire lives. Monsters are not born, they are in fact created by time and circumstances; that drive men to what they fear and despise most.
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