Movie reviews

I'm not an experienced reviewer, but if people would like my take on what's worth seeing, well, I've seen a LOT of movies and I have a good idea what's good and what's bad, and why. I could definitely do a sort of mini reviews thing. I don't know what I'd call it, or if I'd put it on another blog page, but maybe 'Silent Dan Speaks' or something. I don't know a lot of film terms, I know a few basic ones like scenes, cuts, angles, etc but not really any of those fancy-pants French terms. Except Auter. That means artist-film-maker, I believe. I do however have a degree in Creative Writing, which has scriptwriting units built in, and I did do a Film and TV Genres unit. I'm considering going back and doing a film degree. And did I mention I've watched a LOT of movies? You should see my collection of dvds. You'd think I was a film nerd. Truth is, I'm multi-media nerdy. Films, books, games, even a bit of music (I don't know shit about music terms, but I have a collection that everyone says rocks).



Anyway, here's a sample of what my reviewing would be like.




PACIFIC RIM



Very good, solid action blockbuster from a director I like very much, and who deserves credit. Guillermo Del Toro created Pan's Labyrinth, the Hellboy movies, and I hear he's doing Beauty and the Beast with Emma Watson, and Slaughterhouse 5 (one of my favourite books from Uni), so he has my respect. You go in with expectations of giant robots beating up giant monsters, and you get what you expect to get. There's basically zero surprises, but really, how do you surprise people in a mecha-vs-kaiju battle movie? Don't expect twists or hero's journey (I didn't detect any, although I guess the hero does have some agency, it's either stay on the wall or go back to the front line (a plot device you've seen a million times anyway). This movie goes for cool sci fi action and delivers big time. Nice and bright, too, with robots that have a lot of personality for chunks of metal that aren't anything remotely sentient. I liked the designs way better than Transformers. It was nice, in the same way Real Steel had cool robots. I personally felt my gut wrench more for those poor mecha than I have for most human characters. But that might be my Autistic tendancies flaring up



See it if you want a simple, uncomplicated, straight-up action slug-fest between mechs and monsters, in the vein of what anime has been doing for 50 years and by the director of those cool, quirky fantasy movies you love. And if you want to support original movies - not original in concept (there"s bugger all original about mechs vs kaiju) but a movie NOT based on an existing franchise from the 80s. There is no 'don't see it if ' for this one. Except maybe if you expect a third act plot twist.



9 out of 10 nukes.



THIS IS THE END



Ugh. I was told this was hilarious. I laughed once, maybe twice. The IDEA is cool, but I thought the execution wasnot off, per se, just not very endearing or funny. The bit with the head was sick, but also hilarious, but also sick. I thoroughly hated Michael Cera and Danny McBride, I can see why people hate Cera now if he's anything like that (I got the 'this is a true story' vibe regarding him). But make no mistake, he's a brilliant actor - his portrayal of Scott Pilgrim was so convincing, it was like he was ACTUALLY a douchebag. Crazy. Anyway, I think the highlight for a lot of people would be seeing him die first (spoiler alert). The lowlight would be that it wasn't actually funny. I don't mind crass humour, but this was just crass, not humourous. I can almost guarantee the new Simon Pegg/Nick Frost/Edgar Wright (director) movie, World's End, will be 100x better and funnier. I'd recommend waiting to see that.



See it if: you want to see Michael Cera die horribly, you want to see Rihanna fall into a hole to hell. Or Emma Watson burst in with an axe. Don't see it if: you can't stand Danny McBride (I can't), you want to save your money (I recommend it), you hated Your Highness (I didn't like it much), you think stoner comedy isn't funny (I don't, mostly, with the exception of the sublimely dumb Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle), or if you'd have a major aversion to Full Frontal Demon Dick (FFDD). Or you've realised that Seth Rogen isn't actually funny.



MAN OF STEEL



What can I say about this that makes it sound good? Well, it looked pretty awesome. It went along at a nice pace and it had all the right elements - a Person who Struggles with their Identity, Superman, Lois, Zod, Krypton, Smallvilleonly thing missing, in my opinion, was the spirit. I mean, to me - and my brother - it felt like it was ticking off all the Superman must-haves (yet there was no Lex Luthor!) and that the characters and abilities and all that Superman just all just showed up to collect their paycheck.



And then the final boss fight happened. Holy amaze-balls was that good! And that's all I can say about Man of Steel, other than I really found young Clark sympathetic, even if I never lifted a school bus with my bare hands before.



See it if you want to. Don't see it if you want original ideas in Hollywood and want to send a message that you're kinda over gritty reboots and want to support original idea movies like Pacific Rim. Seriously, it might have been a week already, but you can still make it successful.



I'll write a few more tomorrow or over the weekend.
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