Mom: You exude the coldness of a know-it-all. [Pause.] Come visit more often.
This proceeded a fight over a pair of size-8 jeans that mom dug up and deemed to be "unique" and valuable.
Mom: Try them on.
A.: I can tell by looking at them that they're too big.
Mom: Try them on!
I got up, tried the jeans on over my pants. Mom thought they looked great.
A.: Hell no.
Mom: They fit.
A.: They're huge. They look like clown pants.
Dad: That they do.
Mom: Lose weight so you can wear them, because they're great pants.
A.: Losing weight is not going to help me with these.
Mom: Yes it will. I am holding on to these in case you change your mind.
A.: I won't change my mind.
Mom: Yes you will. They're unique.
A.: That they are not.
Mom: You have terrible taste.
A.: Weren't we going somewhere?
Mom: You're cold. [Pause.] You should read "The Little Prince." We raised such a monster. Maybe you'll understand when you get older.