Thursday, October 31, 2013

Beating an Undead Horse [ Halloween post! ]

People often ask me if I watch the series The Walking Dead. and I can see why they'd think I would.

On any given day, I'll probably be wearing a black shirt, my leather bracelet, and any number of articles of clothing adorned with skulls and the like.

I mean, shit I'm wearing this ring right now.

It's My Favorite.

Beyond that, I do talk about my interests in horror films, the occult, and just generally spooky content.

So ok, I get it, there's lots of precedence that would lead one to assume I enjoy the show, The Walking Dead.


I've never even seen one episode. Not one. I also plan to keep it that way.


Let's take time to reflect on the environment The Walking Dead was coming into when it first aired. Hollywood was on a particular zombie kick and seemed to be pumping out film after film, creating as many films as zombies depicted within their hordes.

It started long ago with classics like Night of the Living Dead and was resurrected ( this and all following puns are not intended but enjoyable regardless ) with the horror/comedy Shaun of the Dead and Danny Boyle's 28 days later. Both amazing films, but then a few years later things just got out of hand. I think the last zombie film I enjoyed was Zombieland but I might be bias based on their use of dynamic type and Bill Murray.

Man, I Love This Guy.

Anyway, I say all this to illustrate how fucking tired I was // am of zombies. That's when The Walking Dead came out, and also the onslaught of "Did you see last night's episode?" and "Daryl's so hot." only for me to respond with a vacant look and the comment, "I have no idea who that is and I don't care."

You wanna talk monsters with me? Let's talk about the most under-rated monster to date, that's right,

Motha. Fuckin. Werewolves.

If you just scoffed, get out of here, this place is not for you.

Go watch

1. An



4. (netflix original)


6. (uk) (tv)

7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Yes I am pulling this card... created creatures for that show that not only looked terrifying but you could still relate to the person beneath, and that my friend is key to fantastic characters I actually care about.)

then come back to me and tell me how wrong you were. It's ok...we were all naive once.

But honestly those films listed above are some of the best representation of werewolves in any sense that could be taken seriously, or add to their horror credibility. I'm so hard up for good werewolves that I'll go see films I KNOW are gonna be bad, just to rep my literal underdog.

Such films as




these films broke my heart in a way because their versions of werewolves LOOKED AMAZING but were let down by terrible story lines. The Wolfman was a particular let down.

I mean, jesus christ, you had EVERYTHING to make a good movie. Bencio Del Toro as the lead, Anythony Hopkins supporting role, friggin HUGO WEAVING as your antagonist and a fucking rendition of the wolfman that looked like the perfect mash up of old school hollywood and new special effects. Seriously, the scenes of him transforming were so reminiscent of 's wolf in American Werewolf it was tantalizingly exciting.

I mean look at this thing

I'm like reving myself up to give this movie a second chance just LOOKING at this image. But I knowthe truth, I know what waits for me...nothing but sadness.

I had such hope. It was a revamp that I had my heart set on, and it completely fell flat.


And please don't get my started on the RPG White Wolf

Look dude, I love werewolves and I love different classifications, you put those two together...friggin' over here.

So this Halloween I wish for you all to take a look at the lesser known monsters. Don't go for the easy Zombies or pretty Vampires ( don't get me started on the whole Werewolf vs. Vampire's no contest. Pale guy with sharp teeth against a fucking hurricane of rage and claws. Pfft, come on. )

Give that wolf, or witch, or ghoul a try and you might find a slice of spookitum all your own to become a lil too obsessed with.

Happy Halloween everyone!


ps. Werewolves > pretty much everything
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