Saturday, October 12, 2013

IG Attempts the News: Can't Title, Pokemon

Last week on "Indecisive as hell"

Don't look at me, I'm just a simple blog writer! I don't pretend to be my mom and attack anyone that's the least bit negative to me!

What will this week bring?

Stories from October 5th 2013

"Garbage Pail Kids Cards Figures Return as Minikins"

People still care about Garbage Pail Kids?

"Well Topps was nice enough to send over a care package" If this is true, why would they do this? Because of that positive video you made three fucking years ago? Yeah, it's been that long.

"I'll be doing a video on them next week" This video came out on October 9th, and it's a boring eight minute vlog about the toys. I have noticed Bores is making longer videos now, has he discovered that YouTube stopped tracking views and started tracking duration watched? Oh and it's a contest, the comments are flooded with "Pick Me". But knowing Bores, he'll only pick the most loyal fan boys.

"but for now, heres a picture to wet your appetite!" *looks* This is meant to get fans excited? Wow that's lame.

Stories from October 6th 2013

What's this? Bores posted a story on a Sunday? Wow, it must really important if he posts it on his "day off"?

"Pokemon - Eevee Evolution Frozen Cocktails"

Never mind, it's just pointless.

"Not sure how any of these would even taste" Okay, you need to stop this. You need to stop including in almost every article "I'm not sure how blah blah blah blah", it's a terrible thing for a writer to do.

Stories from October 7th 2013

"Dragon Ball Z - Life-Sized Papercraft Goku Statue"

First actual story of the week, and it's more fan art. *sighs*

"Created by this crazy blogger" Why is he crazy? Because he has a bunch of action figures and manga on his shelf? Because he made this? Why won't you give his name?

"is this inane awesome looking Goku Statue" It's both inane and awesome? That's a bit of a contradiction.

"Word has it that it took so much free time to build, it boggled my mind on just how many days you had to call off work in order to finish this bad boy. (assuming the creator actually has a job. I am beginning to wonder with all those paper craft items behind the Goku )" My God, you're an asshole. First of all, what word? Who's saying all this stuff? Second, those aren't paper craft figures behind him, those are actual action figures and statues! I recognize a number of them too. Ryu from Street Fighter, Milla Maxwell from Tales of Xillia, Groudon and Blissey from Pokemon, Belle and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, Snow White (Disney), Death from Darksiders II, Krillin, etc.

"Great job" So you insult him, then you praise him. Whatever

"DC Injustice - Finished with DLC, Now releases Ultimate Edition Nov 29"

Technically, that's wrong. While the complete edition does come out November 29th in Europe and other territories, it's coming out November 12th in North America. Considering this a site a operated by someone living in the United States, I would think he'd be more accurate with that.

"I guess i should've just waited till Warner Brothers was done releasing DLC to pick up this title" Have you paid attention to this generation at all? Successful games with lots of DLC would eventually get a "complete edition" that includes everything.

"To add more salt to the wound they are offering it for the same price you purchased the non-complete version of the game just months ago." It's a better deal, you're getting all the DLC for what is essentially free. This is nothing new.

"Dang it. Expect Arkham Origins to go the same route in April 2014 or so." Seriously, how deep is the hole you were hiding in? And how big was the rock covering it? You can't be this ignorant.

"Disney's Infinity - Jack Skellington Now at Gamestop"

"Not sure if anyone has been still playing Disney's Infinity" Kwing is. You know, that guy who also does videos on GotGame but is far more informed and way nicer than you are?

"Just another hopefully dream I wish Infinity could do." Is it me, or is the lack of proofreading getting even worse?

"Creepy - Sealife Sea Sponges Looking like Mahna Mahna Muppets"

"Well the Huffington Post has come out and said that this is a picture of Sea Sponges that resembles Cookie Monster." I can see it. It's blue, has big eyes, and a big mouth made for eating COOKIES (om nom nom nom).

"After gazing at it for a few hour, rotating, cropping, and examining the photo negative, I'm still at a a loss for how this even remotely resembles cookie monster." It's blue. Get some fucking glasses.

"If anything it looks like the Mahna Mahna Muppets from yesteryear." They were in the 2011 Muppet movie, I don't see how they can be considered "old".

"Some Huffingtons will never learn." Hey moron, the Huffington Post is named after one person, Arianna Huffington. The contributors aren't "Huffingtons". I'm pretty sure the person that wrote the article isn't a Huffington. *reads through* No name listed, but it does direct to an MSN article where they got the news. My point is, don't be stupid Chris.

"South Park Teaching Us How Minecraft is viewed"

You mean played right? You don't view Minecraft, you play it. Unless you're one of the millions that subscribe to Minecraft YouTube channels. I don't even get how you can watch that, it's so boring!

"If you are an oldschool gamer and caught last weeks Southpark, then you probably laughed your ass off." Oldschool? In what dimension is Minecraft considered oldschool?

"I get a lot of comments for me to play minecraft or do videos on minecraft" Wait, so he does notice those? Okay, then how about the Call of Duty comments? Or the comments from fans that are sick of all the Skylanders videos?

"and this episode pretty much sums up why I haven't. Call me old school but I can't get into the game." Apparently, it's really difficult to get into what's essentially a giant Lego sandbox. This isn't a matter of being "oldschool", it's a matter of "you're too stupid to figure it out".

My head hurts and it's only Monday.

Stories from October 8th 2013

"Angry Birds - Now Goes Tropic Cola Soft Drinks?"

Another day, another drink. I could use a drink myself

"Angry birds is back with more crazy merchandise now outshining the once Star Wars Merchandise giant Star Wars in taking up every offer they can scoop up." II can't even begin. The repetition, the poor comparison, the whole "Angry Birds are back" statement even though they never left. If this is his idea of a joke, it's not funny.

"Originally sold and marketed in Finland and Europe" We can now add geography to the list of things Chris fails at. Finland is a part of Europe, so by saying "Finland and Europe", you're being redundant.

"Disney Infinity - Here is your Series 2, Coming at you Soon!"

"I haven't been really persuaded to pick this game up after reviewing it but I know there are still a lot of fans of this game out there" Contradicting what you said yesterday when you said "does anyone even play this?"

Bores would make a wonderful anchor for CNN or FOX News. No impartial views at all.

"Happy Halloween - Want to Date a Ghost? There's a Site for That!"

"Only thing you have to be a ghost to date a ghost. Okay, so how the hell is the ghost supposed to use the keyboard? Boy this was well thought out." Don't kid yourself, you'd love to use this site if it means meeting "real" ghosts. Honestly, this is a lot like those vampire dating sites, it's not beyond the realm of possibility that there's a ghost dating site.

"Whats next? Zombie Dating Sites? Date a Zombie, fulfill your fantasy of getting your head ripped off!" Clearly you've never heard of necrophilia.

"Meat Artist Back, This time with Pokemon Meowth, Bulbasaur, Pikachu"

God, this is such a waste of good food. Especially when beef prices are going way up.

If I may digress a bit, but why is it when people do Pokemon art projects, it's always the first 151? What's wrong with the other generations?

"Pursuit of the Paranormal - Setting up for the Premiere"

By the time this post goes up, it will be the day of the premiere. I still have a hard time believing he sold a lot of tickets. I just get the feeling he's going to walk out and see a mostly empty theater. I say "mostly" because he's bringing friends and family.

"Very excited to finally show this to the fans!!" I imagine any ghost hunting fans you have don't live in Ohio, and likely couldn't make it.

Other stories:

"Mario Bros Music Video Questions Why Mario Has To Rescue Princess Peach"

"Street Fighter in Samurai Jack Style Art"

Stories from October 9th 2013

"Super Mario Bros Perler Beads gone Crazy on Canvas"

"I think a lot of use have made sprites out of Perler beads at one time or another" A lot of "use"? How do you even make a typo like that? Even the iPhone's auto-correct wouldn't do that.

So is Bores admitting those sprites are really Perler art and not "wood" like he once claimed? I don't know

"Star Trek: TNG Giant Captain Picard Pixelated Quilt - Make it So"

"Yeowza!" Fake excitement!

"Who needs a cup of Earl Grey to wake you up when you have this thing staring back at you in the morning!" This is scary? I don't see how looking at that can wake you up. You'd get up, see the giant Picard quilt, and then look at your life and realize you wasted money on it. Wait, I did that wrong.

Really, that seemed like a lame attempt at a Star Trek reference. "Picard drinks Earl Gray tea you guys! It's a Star Trek reference! I'm nerdy you guys!"

"Batman Arkham City - Nightwing Full Scale Light Up Prop Weapons"

"Although for the $1000.00 price point, they should've laced these things with real electricity!" Welcome to the world of collectables! They're far more expensive than they need to be!

"Take that mr. neighbor! I'll teach you to keep your damn barking dog in at night!" Oh hey, haven't seen Psycho Chris in a while. Good to know he still likes talking about violently hurting people over petty things. Batman would be so disappointed.

"Skylanders Giants Frito Lay Sidekicks finally Here"

I'd say "only a few more days until Swap Force", but this relates to last year's game. *sighs*

"Well son of a gun, I don't wander into the junk food aisles anymore" Bullcrap! You're constantly talking about junk food, and you have junk food in a lot of videos. Quit trying to excuse why you don't hear certain bits of news.

"Adventure Time's Custom LEGO BMO as Functional Linux Computer"

Is the reason he keeps talking about BMO is because it's a video game console and he's trying to still keep up this image that he's a gamer? *shrugs*

"Having a Linux computer as the operating system, this guy can play video, video games, web surf, and more!" Wow! Just likeevery other fucking operating system out there.

"Superman vs Batman - Larry David as Mister Mxyzptlk Rumor"

Nothing really wrong with the article content, but the pictureFor some reason, Bores took an image of Larry David in a purple suit (probably from an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm) then poorly drew a bowler hat on top of him. Oh and it has a watermark. Did you really have to go to this much effort to report a RUMOR? Just post a picture of Larry David, it's not that hard.

Other stories:

"Thor Dark World LEGO Poster promotes Marvel Super Heroes Asgard DLC"

Stories from October 10th 2013

"Angry Birds Cartoons - Season 1, Volume 1 DVD, Blu-ray announced"

You know, the past 24 hours had announcements like "Final Fantasy VI remake for iOS, and it uses the same awful graphics as FFV iOS" and "Grand Theft Auto V coming to PC". But he opens with god damn Angry Birds.

"Dear Lord, Angry Birds has now bombarded the home movies market." Actually, this is a cartoon on TV. In its native homeland of Finland, it airs on MTV3 (unrelated to our MTV), while here in the US it airs on Nicktoons (in Canada it's on Teletoon).

"And yes there are bonus features" Reading through them, they're better than yours!

"Excuse me now while I go wash my car off from Angry Birds droppings" Pointless random humor?Yeah, pointless random humor.

"Star Wars Jawa Sandcrawler Soap"

Soap. You're writing up articles about soap. Are you serious?

I don't care that it's Star Wars soap, it's still soap! You use it to clean yourself, why would you talk about this? Who the fuck would even buy this? Why would you think people would care about hearing this? Oh god, I think my mind is having a breakdown.

*goes for a long walk* That's better. Surely the next article can't be worse.

"Doctor Who - PREVIEWS Exclusive K-9 Plush, Woof!"

Damn it

Wait, a PREVIEWS exclusive plush? Is he talking about that catalog that previews upcoming comic books? Is that still even being made? When did they start selling things?

"The dang things also talks! Wonder what he'll say besides woof?" Hey dumbass, K-9 was an actual talking robot dog. He never said "woof". Also, K-9 showed up in the modern series so you have no excuse to act this ignorant. Oh wait, you're Chris Bores, you're a moron no matter what.

Other stories:

"Pokemon Pokeball Engagement Ring"

Stories from October 11th 2013

"'Breaking Bad' Creators Offered $75M to Produce 3 More Episodes"

It's over people! Let it go! It had an ending that tied everything up!

"I think 3 more episodes could be squeezed out for sure. After all, there are these things called hospitals that can revive cast members who have supposedly thought dead" Don't insult the show's ending like that. I know how it ends and I feel doing that would be just as insulting as creating a Scarface video game where Tony Montana survived the end of the movie and managed to recover at a hospital.Fucking hell.

Bores also put an emoticon at the end to further insult our intelligence. Urgh.

"Pokemon Fans really digging new Anime Red And Blue Cartoon Series"

Wow! You are late, so very late, with this news. The special aired on October 2nd, the news about it is at least a month old.

"So there is a new Pokemon show out there" It's not a new show, it was just a special. Though I'd really like it to be a show considering how awful the on-going anime is now.

"Might want to make me play pokemon yellow again." Hahaha, that's funny, claiming you've actually played a Pokemon game. We know you didn't give a shit about Pokemon until you learned just how popular it is.

Oh, and Yellow? Why not that new game? You know, the one that's coming out tomorrow, the same day you're holding your little ghost hunting premiere? Oh yeah, X & Y! Pokemon fan my ass

"Skylanders Swap Force - Wave 1 Checklist Buyers Guide"

Oh dear lord

The article itself is just a checklist of the new figures and games with prices, not too offensive. No, the offensive part is the picture he included at the top. It's a picture of him crouching behind his table which is covered in 8 new Skylanders figures still in the packaging. Looking at the figures in the picture, and the prices he included, he spent about *calculates* $104 dollars, and that's not including tax! My God!

I'm sorry, but didn't Chris say that he spent thousands on his ghost movie? I would think the smart move would be NOT spending over a $100 dollars on toys! And that's probably not even all of them, he probably has the Lightcore and Series 2/3 figures. The former being $13 a piece, and the latter $10. Plus, he's probably going to get the Starter Set for both PS3 and 3DS, each one costing $75 dollars. This is too much! You're far too irresponsible with your money! You don't get enough views to warrant crazy purchases like this!

Once the ghost movie bombs, Bores is going to be a lot of financial trouble. He may have to change his policy on crowd funding and look like an even bigger hypocrite.

Other stories:

"Lord of the Rings - EPIC 150,000-Piece LEGO Battle Of Helm's Deep Build"

That's all for this week.

There was a video posted, an interview with a local FOX affiliate in Toledo about Pursuit of the Paranormal. Just a lot of ghost hunting bullshit. What's interesting is that Bores seems more interested in this stuff than he ever has talking about video games. Now we see where his true interest lies. Just give up the gaming thing.

But now, Pokemon X and Y.
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