I enjoy reading fellow blogger/writer Richard Dawahare's comments about news articles he finds thought provoking or controversial and his past blogs where over about 8 years, he is pretty expressive about the subjects he feels passionate about. Since I agreed with most of what I read, it was easy to become an effusive fan. I mean, you always agree with those who agree with you, right?
Recently, he posted on a subject that is difficult for me, one that really doesn't have easy answers, but one that does need to be addressed in our society. Media and its influence in our day to day lives.
I have taken on critical viewing before. Years back, in a weekly column, I took on the movie "Pretty Woman" and my horror that young women found the Julia Roberts character as a role model. I pondered this and got some good feedback.
Last year, I had a disappointing experience with a seminary library movie check-out called "Chasing Amy" which I took out of the DVD player after 5 minutes of language that was, I was later told by the library manager, considered 'normal' for popular culture.
And, now for the big confession: I have, at an unchurched, unhappy and worldly part of my life, been queen of the potty-mouth. I told jokes that made men who worked in the same warehouse with me embarrassed. And I didn't have a bit of shame about doing so.
So, yes, I know all the words, what context they can be used in, and in some instances, still use them (mostly in a traffic situation). Yes, they are just 'words' really, and in my view, it is the intent behind them that makes them bad or good, really, not so much the societal view of what constitutes 'clean' or 'dirty' language.
Check the differences in the use of the word 'bloody' in America and in the United Kingdom. In our culture, it means just what it sounds like someone is bleeding, has bled, or may be about to. In England it can mean that, or it can mean the "F" bomb. When I was younger, and wanted to sound cultured, I used 'bloody' and 'bugger' freely, and thought I was quite clever. Then, a friend took me aside, and told me what the words meant in English society, and to people who were too polite to tell me how uncultured and honestly rude I sounded. Oops!
Words can mean a lot of things and do a lot of damage as we navigate a multi-cultural society and a world growing drastically smaller as communication gets better, faster and honestly, at times more intrusive in what was once a much more innocent world. Not innocent because things did not occur .because those actions stayed local for the most part, and there was no chance of them going 'viral' and being world knowledge.
With decreased privacy, and the voyeur-like interest in the lives of others, we have the new monster called the reality show. "Honey Boo Boo," "Keeping up with the Kardashians," and a few others have never even tempted me, but many of my peers seem strangely addicted to these cable offerings. It would be easy to feel superior however, when I am near cable, what do I watch? I like "Storage Wars" and endless dishy documentaries on historical figures. Give me some tasty new turn on the late Duke of Windsor and the 'woman he loved,' Wallis Warfield Simpson Windsor ..you have my full attention.
Am I really that different?
Richard's comments today were about the need to get rid of the raunch of television, radio, and movies. In theory, I agree. There was a time when I walked out of the original showing of Scarface because of the chainsaw scene in the tub. Felt proud of myself for doing so. Years later, I own the film, and think the morality tale of "what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul' comes through loud and clear. Unfortunately, you have to wade through a lot of blood and bad language to get that moral.
The argument is (and I have played devil's advocate here) that in real life, real gangsters don't say 'gee whiz' or 'golly darn.' However, how do we know that? I tend to find that even very worldly people who I associate with, for the most part, willfully censor their language around me, much like one does with a minister. Worry out loud that they will offend me. And there are a few words that do get to me, but mostly its what I perceive to be the intent behind the use of the language that makes it offensive or not to me.
However, what about kids? What about teens? What about the special needs population that might be exposed to all types of media excessively and think this really is the new 'normal?' and follow the example? It does happen. It happens a lot.
I know that after prolonged exposure (especially with music) to worldly things, my soul starts feeling full of 'sludge' and I have to purposely pull away awhile to regain stronger spiritual footing. However, I believe that just because that is true for me, doesn't make it true for everyone. We all have our weak places, and I believe in a personal devil who knows this and exploits it to the max.
I believe in balance, and moderation. Yet, a serious look at our TV, Movie, Music, and literary choices out there do not preach anything close for the most part. Things need to be better moderated. However, how do we return to a less sex, violence, self-centered culture without cutting out on personal freedom to choose and setting dangerous precedents?
There are some things which just offend my spirit. Some books, movies etc. that just won't be read or seen by me. I try to listen when my heart says 'this is not good' for me personally. I have, however, crossed the line and watched, read and listened to things that I knew weren't good, and told myself it was my 'right.' Even congratulated myself on what a 'cool' Christian I was.
I fear a world where 'normal' on TV for a married couple is depicted as separate beds and sisterly/brotherly pecks on the cheek as if they are only buddies and not lovers in the most appropriate and holy of senses. Or, where a woman showing her navel is considered 'racy.' Where a gifted musician like Jim Morrison could be arrested for certain words in the classic "Light my fire." I fear a world where literature can be burned because of one person's insight that something is bad. As a writer, I hate censorship. I fear a world that represses in the daylight where others can see (and approve) and lets it all hang out in the darkness. We've been there. It didn't work. Don't want to go there again.
However, change does need to come. We are a long ways away from the infamous 'toilet flush' that made ground breaking television in the early 70 s on the classic series "All in the Family." We are eons away from the first interacial kiss on Star Trek, another ground breaking television show. However, we are not too far removed from when daytime fare (soaps, etc.) became basically "Mommy Porn" and sad examples of a cultural 'norm' that is anything but.
What can be done? We can't go back, but we can move forward. How can that be done without censorship or stifling the creative spirit? This is my question as I end my reflections today. I agree with Richard that a return to a world of better manners and the avoidance of routine foul language should be the rule, not the exception. But such morality and wishes can't (or shouldn't) be legislated.
My decisional journey on this subject is still in process. Peer pressure doesn't stop in the teen years, if anything it increases after adulthood. Balance is critical to healthy mental and emotional health and good relationships with others. But where do we start? Do we embrace old repression to make up for the excesses of today? And if we do, do we find, as the musical group, The Who, once sang that the 'old boss' is really the 'new one?'
I don't have any answers here, but am open to and welcome debate and discussion on this topic.
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