Saturday, January 18, 2014

Anime Is Weird

Dam you Netflix! Just when I was catching up on my gaming back catalogue (poor "Papers Please" just sitting there on my computer, waiting to be played) you come around and are like "HEY!!! You know that crazy anime everyone and their mother has been talking about for like a year? I have all of those episodes in glorious SUPER HD!!!"

The anime that I'm referring to is a crazy show by the name of "Attack on Titan"VERY MILD SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It follows humanity 100 years after they were almost driven to extinction and forced into a small walled country by giant naked men called Titans, who's only desire is to eat people.All is good for 100 years until a really really giant Titan, who's so naked he literally doesn't have skin, comes and punts a hole through outer most wall, opening it up for all his smaller but still giant Titan brothers to enjoy the humanity buffet.The show then follows three friends as they join the human army to fight back against the Titans.

"Hello, I'm here to wreck your shit."

Any of this sounding strange so far?Because it should, because it is, because it's anime.Did I mention that all of the Titans are giant naked dudes?Did I mention that they have no cock and balls?They're like giant bumbling eunuchs who eat people.One of them has no skin.And honestly, this is one of the more normal animes I've watched.

Now I'm no anime expert, I can count the number of series I watched with 2 hands, and most of that hand is made up of Dragon Ball and Pokemon, but man is this shit weird.Does that stop me from watching it?No.Does it stop me from enjoying it? Hell no.Weirdness comes with the package in almost all Japanese things.The only reason the Playstation 4 isn't a giant tentacle rape monster is because it was designed by an American dude.

This weirdness is the exact thing I love about Japanese culture.As much as I absolutely loved my recent trip to Italy, I was struck by just how similar everything was to the United States.Japanese culture?You think ABC would ever air a primetime TV show about giant naked dudes eating people?Probably not.Are there some things about Japanese culture that I can do without?Of course, most notably them making underaged female characters look like 30 year old porn stars, or the fact that almost every single male protagonist is a whiny crybaby, or that all of their real people porn always blurs out the dick uhhh I mean seafood, I hate seafood.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that anime is weird, Japan is weird, and seafood is gross.I want to visit Japan and punch every tentacle rape monster in its thousands of ball sacks.

Peace and Love,

Simon Levit
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