IF your children can make you cringe with their out-of-control behaviour, don't despair - harness that energy.
We have enjoyed the fruits of our pair's penchant for mania on a summer holiday and no longer think twice about unleashing their inner beast.
Faced with a long wait to check in at a Queensland resort by a rude receptionist - despite prearranged early check-in - we felt no guilt at letting the bored kids run free.
We sat quietly, waiting out the three hours we were told it would take for the room to be ready, while the monsters happily explored.
They tried every chair, pressed every button, rearranged every pile of leaflets and even bit the display fruit.
When they started playing chasings around the magnificent Christmas tree, making the entire tree wobble alarmingly, frantic conversations and furtive pointing could be seen taking place at reception.
Another staff member then rushed over to share the exciting news - there had been a dreadful mistake! The room was ready after all and we could leave the lobby immediately.
Score us! Wait time reduced by two hours and 45 minutes. Thanks kids.
The life lesson here is if your kids are driving you nuts, they will drive others nuttier. Use it to your advantage.
Kids come in handy for getting on to planes first and restaurant service is always amazingly speedy.
We are generally offered prime veranda tables, such is the rush to keep us isolated from other patrons and avoid food splatters on the walls.
Hyperactive kids are also amazingly useful for scoring private hotel rooms far from the madding crowd and clearing hotel pools.
My husband and I often take a lazy bet on how long it will take before we drive couples on romantic weekends out of communal pools.
The kids don't intend to upset fellow guests; it just seems their cries of "watch me do a handstand!", energetic flipper kicks that drench carefully preserved hairdos and thoughtless diving near ladies artfully roasting their spray tanned bodies isn't appreciated by anyone
Generally most people put up with us for about five minutes, just so they don't appear rude in their rush to escape.
Lucky for us, we do like a nice empty pool.
And we are gracious enough to hide our smirks as our fellow guests beat a hasty retreat.
So next time the kids are driving you batty in public, maybe cut them some slack. They could actually be working for your benefit.
Original storyTHE NEWS
Odd news from around the world
: "A buy-to-let tycoon has banned housing benefit tenants in favour of Eastern European migrants who he says are more likely to pay their rent on time. Fergus Wilson has sent eviction notices to 200 tenants on housing benefit and said he would not accept any more welfare applicants. The former maths teacher, who built up one of Britain's biggest buy-to-let empires with his wife Judith, said his decision was based on experience as he had found Eastern Europeans were less likely to default on rent payments than Britons on housing benefit. 'The gap is such that I have taken the decision to withdraw from taking tenants on housing benefit,' he told The Guardian. 'From what I can gather just about all other landlords have done the same. Our situation is that not one of our working tenants is in arrears - all those in arrears are on housing benefit.'
: "AN ACTOR posing as a patient to help medical students train was unaware of the fact he did have something seriously wrong. Luckily for him the medical student examining him spotted the problem. Ryan Jones, a student at the University of Virginia, was examining his fake patient Jim Malloy when he discovered a potentially life-threatening abdominal aortic aneurism. Ironically, Mr Malloy had been asked to pretend to have the symptoms of the aneurism. Mr Malloy only realized the student's diagnosis was genuine when a supervising doctor approached after the examination. "He thought I might have been a ringer that was planted in there to test him, and I had no symptoms. He thought I was a plant with the real situation," Mr Malloy told CBS. Following the diagnosis Mr Malloy underwent surgery to deal with the aneurism which can lead to internal bleeding if left untreated."
: "A CHINESE boy has undergone eye surgery after he was slapped in the face around 40 times by his classmates, under the direction of his teacher. The 12-year-old from Henan, Dou, was punished by the teacher for not finishing his homework, the Shanghaiist reports. "Whoever's slapping is loudest will get a prize," the teacher reportedly told students. Dou's mother Wang contacted the boy's school principal when learned what had taken place. "The principal told me he would take care of it," she said. "I didn't know the damage was so severe. The doctor had told me my child's eye might not be cured." "The school has given us 30,000 [yuan] ($5489) as compensation, but after one surgery had to be done, we've already spent it all," Wang said. The school's principal said the teacher has been detained by police.
: "An autistic young man had all his healthy teeth removed on the orders of doctors, it was revealed yesterday. The decision to carry out the procedure and inflict a long-term disability was not tested in a court of law or approved by a judge, according to evidence provided by lawyers who work in the secretive and controversial Court of Protection. Instead it was taken in secret by health workers who said it was necessary to stop the man from harming himself. The harsh and radical dental operation was disclosed in files presented to a House of Lords committee investigating the Court and the law which gave birth to it, Labour's 2005 Mental Capacity Act.
: "A group of street children in India have opened their own bank. The bank, known as the Children's Development Khazana (CDK), was set up and is now run by children in the Fatehpuri neighbourhood of Old Delhi, India. The bank was established on the principle the children would make all the rules and decisions. NGO volunteers from child rights organisation Butterflies, however, assist the day-to-day running of the bank and sort out any logistical issues. Children aged nine to 18 can deposit anything from a couple of pence to one pound and get 3.5 percent on their deposits. They can then withdraw up to five pounds at a time. It is open seven days a week and is run by perhaps the youngest manger in the world - 13-year-old Sonu."
And don't forget to catch up with all the before you go.