Monday, January 13, 2014

Don't be afraid .

So let's start off with the good stuff. First weigh-in and I lost 3 lbs. Not bad, but it's just the start. This past weekend was my first test, the Patriots in the playoffs. How could you not just go and splurge and eat and drink your face off. Well, I didn't well a little bit. But not as bad as it could have been! It's the beginning of the process and this is the worst time. It takes your body 2-3 weeks to get on a new routine so I'm still working hard to get to that point first.

Losing weight sucks. But it doesn't just affect your eating habits and your will, it affects way more than. It takes a huge toll on your social life. At least for me it does. I have no will power, absolutely ZERO. I mean I ask Santa for it every year and for some odd reason I never get it. So when my friends ask me to go out to eat or go have drinks I have to ultimately say "NO". Because in my head I know if I go I'll end up drinking too much or being forced into eating something I shouldn't. That has been my philosophy. Eating out, first of all, is the worst. And I know that. I just need to remind myself of that. I feel like if I create a fear than I won't go out, but that's only in my head, I guess. Secondly, if I don't go out I end up staying at home kicking myself and feeling bad for myself. You almost feel like you have a disease that you don't want to spread to your friends and that if you do go out it will be the end of the world.

Well, for some people it is. What a lot of "skinny" people don't understand is that over-or-un- healthy eating is like a disease. It is similar to being an alcoholic or drug addict. You always have this compulsion to go out and eat and eat more and to not stop. All you think about is food. It becomes your only thought process.

But not anymore. I am not going to be worried about going out anymore. I need to just remember where I want to be and I am not going to get there by making stupid decisions. I need to work on my will power yes, but I need to work hard for myself. And by doing that I will be able to look at everything with a clearer head and motivate myself even more. Now, If I can only make friends with the monster under my bed ..

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